I’ve tried for years to reach a conclusion.
what the Buddha endeavored to inculcate
the self doesn’t exist it is only an illusion.
Part of me seems same and stagnant
it feels like the inner child of me is still here.
Am I like the rings on a tree -
Child, adult outwards this remains to me so unclear.
Of all things can I not explain the familiarity of me?
Thích Nhất Hạnh made me consider
are adult and child of an asynchronous nature?
Maybe I misunderstood this emptiness state.
I can’t be identical with my former child
but I have not shed off who that boy is
I’m more of an interbeing
each different me interweaving
and taking the turn to be my life’s star
what a wonderful discovery to make!
The page turns on this early morn
as one goes to the next.
With each sheet a new idea is born
leafing through the many chapters of text.
For a brief couple of minutes
one student may share what they read
though the talking kept within limits
a pared down update on what the book said.
I would occasionally glance away from my book,
to the one over my neighbor’s shoulder.
What world could I explore if I took a look
to talk to that literature’s holder?
What ideas have perhaps planted a seed
between his brief moments of talking to me?
He turns to ask – “for the last thirty minutes what did I read?”
The distractions of group settings are not always key.
Now in my last year in a classroom full of tweens
6th grade the marker which ends that shortest of stage
but I kept something from my classmates behind the scenes
as I’ve just entered into a more elevated age.
“Happy 12th!” rings out as my birthday rolls around
but I can’t let them be deceived, I need to come clean.
Though slightly awkward I am now forced to expound
but I’m not 12 because on April 4th I just turned 13.
Because I was proud to be a teen it just kind of slipped out
“You’re 13? How did you manage to flunk a whole year?”
So, yeah, I’ll have to contend with what that was about,
because, you see, I didn’t fail a grade despite all their jeer.
Some recommend that boys enter school at a later time
as they don’t mature societally and emotionally as fast
so a few parents added in this longer cognitive climb
for their sons’ delayed development to have massed.
That is why Mom planned one more Earth revolution trip.
Considering the case Harry starts to come around
“Well okay… Teenage Mutant Ninja Kip”
as he so gradually relents of his interrogation hound.
We often get tied up in others’ thoughts of us
becoming trapped in a self inflicted bondage
it takes so long to see the freedom we can gain
by letting go of inhibitions.
The change for myself was so immense
this boldness that came from being so true
fully not holding back I finally made it –
I discovered how to have the best decade of my life!
This exemplary update surprised me,
this very popular extrovert was holding back?
I try to imagine him with even less of a filter
It is hard to believe that person exists.
What even more unique person would he be
after he already had a major influence on me?
Would he really have doubled his impact I felt?
I’m not directly involved in his real life anymore
that takes place overseas, half a world away
I can only guess how his life plays out.
